Mrs. A.,
Thank you.
In both scenarios, it sounds like you should set a similar boundary with Mr. A. that I did re: Barging in. In your own words.

Boundary setting was never my strength. I learned it here. Had a number of poor trial and error attempts in the beginning.

I think it was Coach who once netted it down to:
When you A, I feel B.
If you continue to A, then I will C.

The fewer words the better. And when you finish your boundary statement, make that the end of the discussion.

Also, can you change the locks in your state?

Peace,

Gardener

"My soul, be satisfied with flowers,
With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them
In the one garden you may call your own."
Cyrano deBergerac