Gardener, boundaries are not my strong suit! (Just ask my IC!)
In lieu of trying to explain myself, let me post two possible alternative scenarios. I will exaggerate for emphasis and use myself as the example.
Scenario 1:
Mr. A calls from his car outside of the house. He leaves a VM. He says, "Hi, I'm here to pick up XYZ DVD. Since you're not answering, I'll just come and get it and then leave."
I don't answer but I immediately listen to the VM and then run outside and start doing yardwork as though I had been doing it for hours and didn't hear the phone.
Mr. A comes in and gets his DVD and leaves. I don't even come in from the backyard. I am SO mad that he invaded MY home, but I do nothing. I just think to myself that he acts so entitled!!!
This didn't really happen but if it did we (on the board) would obviously know that I could have handled the situation better. In this scenario, I end up feeling shafted while Mr. A couldn't care less!
Situation #2:
Mr. A calls from his car. He is already outside the house. I answer. He says, Hi - I was in the area and I want to pick up my XYZ DVD. I say, Oh, ok. It's right here. (And now I'm trying to create a parable...) I let him in. He starts to make small talk. I engage. I go to find his movie and he continues to make small talk. At the end, I'm handing him his movie and acting as though he's the person I most wanted to see in the whole wide world. He leaves and I go into a tailspin because I'm so upset with him and he has no idea. Because of my compromising behavior, he thinks I just love him unconditionally, no matter what he does.
Soooooo... just saying that you handled the situation with XW very well - and rationally - and that the sitch at hand COULD have disintegrated into something that would have had you questioning your own actions/reactions. But you did NOT! Gardener stood ground and it paid off. Nice.
