New here but learning slowly. Advice appreciated

[Albuquerque]

Journaling

So I emailed H back. He had many points on his email, some about R stuff (like separating) and then some neutral stuff about D. I answered all his points in a calm way and did say "do what you need to do" about the separation stuff. I've been a little surprised (disturbed) about my ability to detach from it all. I manged to work the rest of the day without dwelling on it too much. I finally returned back from out of town last night and met H and D at our home. I was chipper and friendly and acted as if it were just another day. He didn't mention the email at all and hung around and chatted a bit about a bunch of stuff. As usual, I did more listening than anything else. Asked a few questions as it pertained to what he was saying but offered up nothing about myself, my last few days away etc.
Today he and D drove up to rental house to do some painting. He texted me numerous times and I ended up needing to call him a few times about problems they were having. I could sense that he was becoming very frustrated with the whole thing and at one point, he kind of insinuated that I could have solved some of the problems had I made some different decisions with the house (not necessarily incorrect). The normal me would have gotten huffy and responded accordingly. Instead, I was calm and just suggested he come back to town and I would take care of the problems over the weekend (which would require cancelling some of my previously made plans). You see, we have the renters moving in next Monday so everything HAS to be done this week.

When he arrived home, he seemed in better spirits. He HAS been taking on a lot with my D the last few days I've been gone while juggling his work and trying to get the rental house in order. I told him so and said I'd take care of stuff over the weekend. Especially (and I knew what I was ACTUALLY saying) since I knew he'd be flying out of town at the end of the week and knew that would make him even more behind on work stuff. See, I know he's got OW and I know she lives out of town. He's flying out Thursday. And while he will be doing some legitimate contract work, I know that's not the main point of his visit. So basically I'll be giving up my weekend to finish up stuff he couldn't finish and can't help with since I know he'll be going up to visit secret OW. I could kind of tell that my logic was disturbing him but he couldn't say anything since he doesn't know I know about OW. Does this even make sense to anyone? Sometimes I feel like I'm playing such ridiculous games. And more and more, I find myself viewing H as a science experiment more than anything. Not that I'm EXPERIMENTING necessarily but that I'm finding his symptoms and MLC so intriguing. That they can all act the same way despite coming from such varied backgrounds and marriages is just fascinating. Disturbing and painful. But fascinating.