My Story

[rangerphan]

Well here it goes. The W and I have been married for 10 years after dating for only 4 months. Things couldn't have been better the first couple of years but our troubles started when our daughter was born. My W went into complete motherhood mode and I still lead the same life going out with friends etc. She told me she has not been happy at all since that time which I find hard to believe. After she laid it out for me I realized what a real crappy father and husband I really am. I honestly can't believe we have made it this far after hearing all of her complaints.

She recently took a trip with her sister out of state and when she returned I could tell something was wrong. My first clue was her cell phone. When she returned she never left it out of her site and even hid it when she slept or showered. After a little digging I discovered the EA. I confronted her about it on 8/6 and thats when she dropped the separation bomb on me. I am devasted and in such turmoil. The thought of losing my W and children is unbearable to me.

After the long hard weekend of groveling, begging and pleading that I can change I discovered this site and started reading about other people's sitch's and felt so much better about things until tonight came. I have moved out of the bedroom and to the couch which is very difficult to get a good nights sleep on. She's a nurse and works the overnight shift at the hospital so I have at least 2 days a week in our bed. I suggested to her that it would be nice if I could grab an extra night in the bed while she slept on the couch. WOW what a mistake! She rambled on about how I'm still being selfish and would never change. She wanted to skip the separation and go right to D. I tried to stay calm and explain but I went right back to groveling, begging and pleading that I can change. She was totally turned off. After she calmed down I told her to give me the time to see a therapist to try and work on my problems (at this point she will not attend with me) and she did. I start on Friday.

I feel all of her points are valid and have no real reason to argue them. I want to be a better man for myself and my children and hopefully my W.

After tonight I feel like I'm hanging on by a thread and any comment I make to her will set her off. I can't really question her about this EA because I feel that will be the end of our M. After growing up in a broken home this is the last thing I want for my children. I feel the problems I face today are partly caused by me not having a father around all the time.

She has agreed to give me some time with the therapist and if things don't change then we will go right to a mediator.

My copy of DB should arrive soon and I can't wait to get started but any advice I can get will be greatly appreciated.