So, just to get it straight..he's coming with the paperwork that he wants you to sign..and he's going to pick up the trunk at his son's house with all the cards and letters you wrote to him. That's the reason he's coming, right? How far of a drive is it for him to come? And his supposed closing for this new property he wants to buy is this thursday?
That's the story and he's sticking to it. I really think he is trying to persuade me that OW is not in the picture as much, but I feel it's just because of the pressure I've applied by filing with the Inspector General. I think he's been told to get his ass out of where she lives into his own place, and so he's pushing for the place she wants. Asking me to the closing. Jesus please us. I checked. It is in his name only. But I'm not signing any papers tomorrow, and he can just move his happy ass back into that travel trailer he moved out of. Don't know, don't care. Anyway around it, tomorrow will be interesting. If he gets pushy with me at work, I'll just have them call the police.
ME: 54 Him: 51 M: 20 years T: 21 years OW/New wife: 36 Sons & Daughters: 7 (ages 24-36) Bomb: March 4, 2010 He Filed: April 28, 2010 I Contested: May 1, 2010 Standing Down: 11/24/10 Divorced : 05/04/2011
Even if he were being told by a L or someone else to get into his own place and make it look like he's gotten rid of the OW so that the judge doesn't sock it to him..why would he buy a place instead of just renting one? I don't know, the buying of a new place just seems weird to me. I'm sure that the OW is pushing it, but is he so far gone that he doesn't know his a@@ from the hole in the ground? Cuz that's just plain stupid to let someone push you into making a decision of that magnitude in this economy. He would then be faced with two mortgage payments, plus utilities for each too. Does he make enough money for that?
Something doesn't figure here. Good grief..whatever you do, don't sign anything. And be on the lookout for him recording your conversation with his phone or something.
of course he'll try to get you alone..maybe suggest that you meet after work..since he's in town and all. Go get a drink or dinner. And then he'll start in on trying to get you to sign the forms because he NEEDS them signed by thursday or the closing won't go thru. And who cares if the OW is at the closing or not..if he wants things to be civil he for sure wouldn't have HER there. why would he invite you to a closing for a home that you aren't going to share anyway..and expect that you'd be interested in going? He's sounds pretty fogged in. My H was like that for several months too. The look in his eyes was dead, blank..there was no emotion about anything. He was like a zombie just going thru the motions..and making some really really bad decisions. I thought he was mental.
I don't know what..but there must be some other reason why he is pushing to buy this house right now instead of waiting. Maybe one of the guys have some ideas. See if Grit, Eric, Mach, Jack or one of the others can see thru this and offer some reasoning for why he would want to do that. I'm surprised your L hasn't come up with a reason.
Truly, truly, I am not afraid physically of him. He has never touched me in that way, and wouldn't cause a scene. I don't intend to be anywhere with him that is not in public at anytime.
The things we've talked about have helped me think it through, and I think he's been told to get his butt out, and is not willing to move back into the trailer, instead wanting to provide sweetie with the horse ranch she so wants. It accomplishes things for him on two levels. 1) she is probably getting tired of the wait, and 2) obtaining the property gives him a new high.
As I said, I intend to be polite but direct. I'll simply put it to him that way. I'm not being pushed into anything, and we have nothing to talk about while she is in the picture. Period. If he bows up, I'll use the adultery card. Give him a list of witnesses to expect, either in alphabetical order or in order of appearance. That should shut him down.
Is Arkansas a no fault divorce state or does Adultry play a role in the outcome?
Be careful, Punkin. I don't know anything about PTSD, but I do know alcoholics and I do know how people can freak out when backed into a corner. I don't think you should say anything about the D or adultry or what any of your plans are. Just politely tell him you're not signing anything until your lawyer gives the ok. and leave it at that. Walk away, tell him you have to meet someone. Gees, with you out there all alone, and him in town all pissed off..it could get ugly. Maybe you should have someone stay at the house with you while he's in town..or maybe you should stay at one of your kids' house while he's in town.
5 months. I don't plan to threaten unless forced to, and I really don't expect to be forced to. You are right though, maybe I should stay in town tomorrow with D24. She's going through a rough patch herself. Oh yes, now the other daughter, as well. She's tired of her husband working off all the time and never at home. In Arkansas, my dear, Adultery can be used as a reason to DISMISS a divoce. If I'm willing to put up, he should be willing to shut up.
ME: 54 Him: 51 M: 20 years T: 21 years OW/New wife: 36 Sons & Daughters: 7 (ages 24-36) Bomb: March 4, 2010 He Filed: April 28, 2010 I Contested: May 1, 2010 Standing Down: 11/24/10 Divorced : 05/04/2011
