Thank you ENM! I have selectively started to follow a lot of the above points (trying at least!) but there are a few that I take issue with. And I can already imagine people shaking their heads thinking "another one that thinks their situation is different" but I don't think it's really different, just not as much advanced. We're still very good friends during most times and I think it would feel artificial if I suddenly became distant or reserved. He would take it as me shutting down and not being open, which is one of our problems.
I just feel that some of these are for people on a different stage than we are. We talk (by email, nothing else is possible with the time arrangement, the only time we're awake at the same time is when I'm at work so we "chat" through emails then) almost every day and it's a two-sided conversation.
Accept that there is only one thing you can change in life and that is you
