My Rollercoaster Continues

[PEI]

2,

I don't have time for a long post ...

Stop responding to his texts. Keep them all in case you need them, but you do NOT need to tell him you are going to stop responding. Just do it.

Protect yourself, call around and see if there is a free family law service that can provide you support.

Talk to your Dr./midwife ... however you have to.... this is integral to your care.

Peace
PEI

[2gthrButApart]

I'm doing my research to find an attorney. I have several months worth of texts, but I don't think they're admissible in court.

When he files, I'm signing.

I give up and I feel I shouldn't have to fight, force or convince anyone to stick around with me and my kids. I'm done and I'm beginning to hate him for being such a damn coward and creating a situation he's not willing to fix. Why the hell do people create families before they "find themselves" I gave up my entire life for him and the kids, and I don't regret my girls at all. How dare he think he needs to be single in order to advance in life. He makes me sick.

What's done is done, I'm not contesting the divorce, there's no point at all. Nothing will change, it'll just drag out the process and make me suffer longer. Eff it all!

When my kids are old enough I'll show them all of the books, time, websites, money, and effort I put into trying to save the marriage for their sake. Which is more than anyone in any of our families have ever done. I'm the only idiot that didn't give up. Had I given up and had no hope 2 yrs ago, I'd be over this by now, and have moved on already.

[2gthrButApart]

BTW all is fine with my little angel. But I will speak with my midwife, especially to monitor my moods after she's born. I've never had PP depression with my other kids, but I was happy back then. This time I'm so stressed out. But I can't wait to see my baby, hold her and kiss her. But I will speak to my Dr, b/c if there's anything she can recommend to help me feel better I'm all for it. I KNOW I've been depressed for 2 yrs since the bomb, just not as deep as "H" But I'm woman enough to ask for help, as he never will.

[2gthrButApart]

Under NYS law these are the grounds for divorce (we do not qualify for any) Unless he lies b/c we filed our taxes separately, and he had his acct say we lived apart for 6 months prior to April 2010.

These grounds include 1) cruel and inhuman treatment; 2) abandonment; 3) confinement in prison; 4) adultery; 5) living apart for a period of one year or more pursuant to a equation or judgment of separation; 6) living apart for a period of one year or more pursuant to a written separation Agreement duly acknowledged.

I got pregnant in Feb 2010. We have not been really separated if he's impregnating me.

Does this mean we have to be Legally separated for one year (beginning in Sept of this year when he sees his lawyer) or does it count that he's moved out since March of this yr?

[LanceSijan]

It is from legal separation. Any marital act nulifies the separation.

That can include you cooking him dinner! That is a marital act in the eyes of NY state.

[2gthrButApart]

So basically he can only file for a Leg Sep on 8/30 and not an actual divorce. Besides me being pregnant he didn't move out till 3/1/10 and we were intimate just last wk.

He also can't file for D while I'm pregnant, but I'm not so sure about a Leg Sep.

[LanceSijan]

That all sounds true until NY state changes the divorce law which is being thrown around right now. That may happen in Sept or Oct.

[2gthrButApart]

Ok. I'm sure his attorney will advise him to wait till then to file for D then, instead of wasting their time with a Leg Sep till next Sept.

So much for extra time huh? It's just one slap after another. No point in trying or praying anymore. Neither work.

[2gthrButApart]

Perhaps that's why she gave him the appt for 8/30 as opposed to sooner, even though he contacted her 7/22.

[punkin]

2gthr -

We've all felt this way at some point, but there is never no point to stop praying, hoping, or doing your very best - but for you, not him.