So I'm reading another book. I realized I needed to better manage how reactive I get when we have a setback; I feared having that extreme rush of fear again - it's like this overwhelming, reason-numbing blur in which the only thing I seem to want to do is run away. This just can't happen any more; it's exhausting, frightening, and I'm actually a little worried one of these days I'm going to end up in my car and heading for god-knows-where. Even one of my friends commented that she noticed it. She said (paraphrasing) 'He's finally starting to reach out to you, and now you're the one trying to distance?'. The Learned Optimism book I think had shed some good light on this for me - the part about how pessimists may even give up when they succeed, perceiving the success was a fluke. That, and the part on catastrophizing - my IC tells me I do that a lot were very enlightening.
So anyways I've got another I brought home from the library a few weeks ago that, upon skimming through, seems to have some interesting ideas about managing that fight-or-flight instinct in a crisis or conflict, and help yourself de-escalate your emotions so that you can start thinking, communicating and listening again. (one of the chapters is called "Move yourself from Oh f#@& to OK"... so I figured it had my name 'written all over it'.) It's called 'Just Listen' by Mark Goulston. Will let anyone know if it was a good read when I'm done, if they're interested.
I cannot complain for not receiving from others, that which I've never asked them for.
