My New LBS Reality

[irishblessings]

Thanks Taylor. You sound like you have really made a turn.

I've chosen NC right now because I have to heal. Every distorted statement or piece of revised history that H is clinging to is too hurtful. We were not a "closet" family - in other words, for the most part, what you saw was what was real. I understand that he has been hurting for a while. I still can't quite figure out where he is in the process or when it started - I just know that he has heaped all of his unhappiness on me. I wasn't what he wanted, needed, etc. Then I'll pull out this beautiful card he gave me 2 weeks before he left and it reminds me of what is possibly buried somewhere in his heart. That makes me back away and pray that the love he expressed then is looming in the background and I need to be patient and become a stronger individual so that if that love ever returns there might possibly be a better future. I know that sounds sappy and overly optimistic ~ but I figure if he doesn't return I'll still be in a better place when it is all said and done. So for me, NC is the best place to be today.