Not sure where to start, or end. WAW?

[john28]

Today has been pretty easy.

Came home for lunch, spent some time with S4, ate with W. She asked about the company Christmas party this year (future talk?). I didn't read into it, just answered her questions. We laughed together for a while. Good conversation.

I played with my S4 for a while, then it was his time to eat lunch. He wouldn't chose from a couple things we had told him he could have and threw a fit. I jumped in and became FATHER figure John, was stern and loving with him, and I could see the look in my W's eyes - she was proud of me.

In the past, I haven't always been around to give S4 that fatherly discipline that he's needed. I was always a softy. But, after reading Hold on to your N.U.T.S., I realize that I can be strong and compassionate at the same time. I don't have to yell to be stern.

I tell you, that book has empowered me. It really has. I feel confident. I feel like I have a purpose and greater meaning now. And, it's paid dividends in two days in my M.

I'm not going to her at all anymore for acceptance. She's come to me more times today that she has in a week to give me hugs and kisses. Just now she was leaving to go swimming with S4 at the pool with a girlfriend and as she's leaving I'm putting S4 in the car. She's in the front seat and before I can close the door she says, "Wait! I need a kiss." I walked around the car she rolled down the window and gave me TWO soft, good kisses. I said, "Have a good time." She told me I needed to go out too and have some fun.

She's still got a decision to make about counseling. But, if I can continue to be this strong and confident man I am inside, it should be an easy decision for her. I'm not pressuring her to make that decision. I feel confident she will come to me in time with an answer.

Today I feel awesome even though I have no idea where my M stands. That's awesomely weird.