ya, mind reading isn't really what it's cracked up to be..unless you're Sookie Stackhouse and can do it for real..and even then you probably won't know the reason behind the thought..which is the important thing anyway. It all goes back to that thing..we can't change anyone but ourselves.
Perceptions play such a big role in how we interact with others. A good for-instance was when I thought that my H was searching dating websites for a younger woman to have kids with him. I thought this because I found a cookie in the temporary history files on my computer that said "dating.com". Now, I'm not saying he didn't maybe press enter on one of the dating resources from a drop down menu on his MSN home page..but the leap from maybe doing that to believing that he had signed up for Eharmony or one of those things was a pretty big leap. And once I jumped, I imagined all sorts of weird things..him sneaking around, acting all guilty when he came home later than he said he would, etc. And then I started acting different too..based on my perception. All the more reason why detaching is such a better idea than getting hung up on what "they" are doing and why. Because in the end..it doesn't really matter anyway. If he had joined a dating club or whatever you call it, there wasn't anything I could have done about it. He'd just find better ways to hide his behavior. And then it becomes a game to see who can outsmart who..who can play the game better. Yuck. who wants to live like that. That's actually why I threw in the towel that day..cuz I didn't want to live like that. And when I talked to him about it, he ADAMENTLY told me that he did not, would not EVER join a dating club. He could find women on his own, he didn't need to pay to do it. Of course he had to add that he has PLENTY of opportunity to be with women if he wants because they make themselves available to him..gag..but he hasn't done it, except for that one A. I believed him and we talked about it like two adults and then decided to keep muddling thu this thing..just like a big muddy bog..muddling..slow..exhausting..you get lost sometimes and have to ask for help..but there is that little light off in the distance.
