Chuck - Yes, I am sure. My attorney was just appointed Associate Judge for our District and he has repeatedly told me that it can be done within a month as long as both parties are in agreement. We have agreed upon the division of all assets and debts and that is included in the filing. If she were to get an attorney and dispute any of what we have agreed upon, then it would take considerably longer to get this done, but I don't see that happening.
Puppy - I appreciate the thoughts. I have told both my son and my parents that they need to be prepared for when she crashes. My intention is to be available to help her in any way she desires when it occurs. My response will be dependent upon what my situation is at that time, but I want them to be prepared for the possibility that we may end up working to restore our relationship at some point in the future.
Those who have read the whole back story will understand when I say that I have told family and friends that I understand the emotional position she is right now. We both have had very strong emotional reactions to the events of our lives, hers have just manifested themselves in a much more destructive way than mine. If she had a mental breakdown and was institutionalized I wouldn't be angry at her or refuse to work toward a resolution, and I don't see this as that much different. If and when she wants to work on our R, I plan to assess my life at that point and determine what response is in my best interest. Until then, I am going to move on with my life, always remembering the good times that we had.
M - 43 WAXW - 42 Married - 24 years Together - 25 years S - 23 - passed away 10/17/09 S - 22 Bomb - PA - 6/23/10 - WAW moved in with OM same night D-day - 9/17/10
That sounds like a very mature, healthy way to look at it, L4S.
God's timing is not always ours, and He obviously does allow us the whole "free will" thing. But one thing I DO know, is that He NEVER forsakes us. He will help you.
Just a quick question as to whether my emotional reaction is typical. I have done a decent job of GAL and have actually not seen my WAW in over two weeks' time. We have spoken on the phone a few times about finances, our son, and my father's health issues. I have found that even though I am convinced that a D is inevitable, I cannot have a conversation with her without becoming emotional. My voice cracks and I struggle to hold back tears while talking with her. Obviously, despite my best efforts, I haven't let go. Any suggestions?
M - 43 WAXW - 42 Married - 24 years Together - 25 years S - 23 - passed away 10/17/09 S - 22 Bomb - PA - 6/23/10 - WAW moved in with OM same night D-day - 9/17/10
I understand that you have chosen the path you believe is best for your life and the only thing for me to do is respect that decision and move on with my life. The past several weeks have given me a good start on doing just that and I now know that I have the ability to be happy with or without you in my life.
Thought I would show you the above excerpt from an email I sent to my W concerning our D proceedings. It is good to feel good about life again. I know there are still bad days to come, but I refuse to let my happiness be dependent on someone else.
M - 43 WAXW - 42 Married - 24 years Together - 25 years S - 23 - passed away 10/17/09 S - 22 Bomb - PA - 6/23/10 - WAW moved in with OM same night D-day - 9/17/10
Not sure anyone is out there anymore, but I am going to get my thoughts out if nothing else. Met wife this morning in the church parking lot, I was attending she was just picking up dogs, and handed off the dogs.
It was the first time we have seen each other in 19 days. She got out of her car acting like we were long lost friends and seemed like she wanted a hug. I simply handed her the little dog, put the big dog in the backseat of her car, and put a bag of her stuff from my house in the backseat floorboard.
She did get the D papers yesterday and had one question making sure that we weren't forfeiting survivor rights in our pensions. I told her I would talk to attorney tomorrow about it and that I was pulling up my truck and going to church. I really don't like Sunday morning being the time we trade off the dogs because it effects my mood and ability to worship. But, I live 25 miles from her and it makes sense because the church is in the community she lives in.
I think I handled the situation well, but I have to admit that what I really wanted to do was give her a big hug and talk about what has been happening in our lives. I am struggling with the complete absence of physical intimacy in my life, but I have decided that is either going to come from her or I will do without until at least after our D is final. That said, man, a simple hug would be really nice.
Enough for now. Maybe more later tonight.
Last edited by lookin4support; 08/08/1009:09 PM.
M - 43 WAXW - 42 Married - 24 years Together - 25 years S - 23 - passed away 10/17/09 S - 22 Bomb - PA - 6/23/10 - WAW moved in with OM same night D-day - 9/17/10
Just had an interesting conversation with her, in which she said ILY more times than I have heard it from her in the last year. She wanted to know why I was moving so fast, and if I was trying to protect her from committing adultery by doing so. I told her it had nothing to do with protecting her, but was because I wanted her to understand the totality of the consequences of her actions and that I wasn't going to stay in limbo waiting for her to figure out her life.
She reiterated that she really didn't have issues with me, but felt like she needed to be on her own. She gave me some more WAW-speak BS and I just listened without responding. I did ask how soon she was planning on signing the papers and she said she was planning on waiting. I let her know that unless that was because she was ready to admit she f-ed up and was ready to get her head out of her a$$, then she needed to just go ahead and sign them and get it over with.
We talked for about 25 minutes, most of it good, and she is signing the papers in the next week.
M - 43 WAXW - 42 Married - 24 years Together - 25 years S - 23 - passed away 10/17/09 S - 22 Bomb - PA - 6/23/10 - WAW moved in with OM same night D-day - 9/17/10
She reiterated that she really didn't have issues with me, but felt like she needed to be on her own. She gave me some more WAW-speak BS and I just listened without responding. I did ask how soon she was planning on signing the papers and she said she was planning on waiting. I let her know that unless that was because she was ready to admit she f-ed up and was ready to get her head out of her a$$, then she needed to just go ahead and sign them and get it over with.
We talked for about 25 minutes, most of it good, and she is signing the papers in the next week.
You were doing so well until then. That just showed her that she still controlled you.
Not sure I agree, pinhead. I filed for the D and she is signing the papers sooner rather than later. What she controls is the timing of the D and I was able to successfully push that along sooner than she was planning by getting her to agree to not wait.
M - 43 WAXW - 42 Married - 24 years Together - 25 years S - 23 - passed away 10/17/09 S - 22 Bomb - PA - 6/23/10 - WAW moved in with OM same night D-day - 9/17/10
