MWD makes it pretty clear... Don't fall into thier behaviour.. they WILL PICK FIGHTS... YOU need to man up and not bark back in anyway...
i admit, i lost my cool when i said those things. i shouldn't have. but i got so tired of the name-calling, fight-picking, and accusations. i didn't want to be a 'door mat'.
i stopped throwing gasoline shortly after. i found the boards and read the books. i realized i was doing some things right and some things wrong. so i corrected those.
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It IS just like working with a child. you wouldn't yell back at yoru children would you? Seriously?
it was hard for me to see him as a 'child'. this was a 40 yr old man in front of me who insisted that he was independent and did not run to mommy and daddy. there was no way to get through to him .. he wanted to be a big boy and lead the charge on his divorce. go ahead. divide the furniture. sell the house. what else do you want? oh? all the jewellery? and 80% of our assets? any gifts given to me are his. and why are we d-ing again? where is all this anger coming from?
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YOu just have to set an adult example and steer clear of his childishness... its hard I know but doable
yes, very hard. after several months of separation, i can finally talk about it without much anger.
my big test will be when i have to talk to my h about our separation agreement.
if he is still in his child-like state, there is no point in talking to him. but my l wants me to test the waters. extend an olive branch and see if there is a possible chance of reconciliation. if not, then i thank him for his time, walk away, and we just go through the lawyers.
i have yet to be served d-papers but it won't be served until after the separation agreement is complete. sometimes i just want to know why he's holding on to so much anger towards me. is it because i'm not coddling him throughout the d-process? for the love of God. i'm not even mad at him for dropping the d-bomb. it takes so much energy out of you to hold in all that anger. is it really worth it?
