How To Tell The Kids

[Ready2Change]

Vacation is going well so far. Yesterday we kept about 33 bluegills. Our best day ever.

That is great! Keep enjoying your time with your kids.

I told them, multiple times, but they refused. D said she would call her.......... in about a week.

After all the reading and self reflection I have done, I still question where my responsibility falls in the relationship between my kids and their mother. My belief right now is that it is up to my kids to call their mother when they want to talk to her and it is her responsibility to call them if she wants to talk to them. I avoid the triangles.

..Sorry I haven't been on any threads for while to support you guys. Just a bit too busy.

Put your oxygen mask on first, then help others.

....I wasn't really planning to move 50 percent of our stuff to the new house yet until we figure out what is going to happen with ours...

I would strongly suggest that YOU MAKE THINGS HAPPEN...be the dead soldier. Get YOUR STUFF to YOUR house. Leave your W's stuff at HER house. You are moving out. You gave her the house by agreeing to move out. Yes, she may have to move out and you may be able to move back in, but RIGHT NOW she gets the house. THIS IS CALLED PRECEDENCE. Set precedence NOW with the belongings. Continually move toward your goal, not away from it. The bigger steps you take NOW the easier it is in the future.

Simple example: The kids need beds at BOTH HOUSES. One option is that you buy two new beds for the kids at your house. OR you take ONE of the beds with you and buy a new one and let your W buy a new bed for her house. I recommend the second option.

I took 50% of the Kids DVD's, 50% of the kids books, 50% of the kids clothing etc. I took the boys bunk-beds, left my daughters bed. Bought my daughter a new bed at my place, MsR2C bought new beds for the boys. I left the living room furniture and bought stuff I LIKED. I left the TV and bought a bigger flat screen....I took the dinning room table and chairs. xWife bought a table set SHE LIKED.....I took my fishing and hunting stuff, I left her rock climbing gear.

I don't want to have to move twice.

You are moving out. That is one move. IF she moves out, then you will have to MOVE AGAIN. Otherwise, you stay in the rental.....

And since I don't have the kids 50 pct yet either, I wasn't going to take half their stuff either.

Do you INTEND on having them 50%? Take the big steps NOW.

How did you guys figure out values for your stuff?

Ways to value the stuff:

1) What you can expect to get on craigs list.

2) If it is really valuable get it appraised.

Keep it simple. You get your car, she gets her car. Each one goes on the balance sheet. Both sides will value them different, that is OK. The lawyers will deal with that.

When all was said and done, I had to give MsR2C $1000 each month for 4 months to balance the equity.

He said W told her sister she thinks the final decree will be the same as the temporary order. I certainly hope not, because I'm battling this one all the way next time.

BATTLE IT NOW....Temporary orders are the testing grounds....

I am not any danger to my kids, so I should get them half time.

Yes. Put things in place NOW to show you are serious about being a 50% parent and not a weekend dad.