I just got so angry this morning that I snapped. I said some things I probably shouldnt have, and told the W we need to get together and split things up this weekend. She asked when I was moving and I told her the end of the month. I reminded her that she also needs to find a place. She reiterated that you have issues, and I have issues that we need to work through. She said all I want is to for us to be good parents for our kids.
I definately let my emotions get to me this morning, I basically said I was throwing in the towel and helping get the D done quicker. I did read a psot on another thread that PIN wrote, which I feel the same way. I still love her, but dont know if I really want to be with her anymore. She is and always has been sef-absorbed and a drama queen. I really dont know that she can be happy no matter how good the M is with me or an R with anyone else.
Well I would say the reality of the situation has definitely hit home with you ;-)
Getting angry and snapping/exploding still shows that you're emotionally invested in this situation. If you were indifferent and it didn't bother you at all, I would say you were totally done but you aren't done yet.
I highlighted the last part of your post, you should read that part to yourself again a few times, why would you want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you, why would you want to be with someone who is self-absorbed and a drama queen? Let her go bro, she filed for divorce, you move on with your life, you get a place for you and your kids, you file for joint custody and you take care of you and her assuming that you are going to provide her a place to live well it's a bad assumption on her part, she needs to get cracking on her part of this equation but it's not something you have to worry about anymore. Sign the lease on your new place, move your stuff over, move the kid's stuff over and tell her that until she finds a place for her and the kids that you can keep them with you.
You take care of you, let her do whatever she wants to do, if she wants to drag her feet on this issue, she will be the one left with the rude awakening.
I can't say with 100% certainty/guarantee but her filing for divorce was done out of anger with no thought of how you guys would work on the task of moving on/out, etc. Part of you detaching and moving on is letting her take care of herself and letting her see how adults have to take on adult responsibilities. She assumed she would stay in the house and you would move out, and she was wrong now that she found out about the house situation. How many other assumptions did she make that she will be wrong on? Only time will tell ;-)
Just focus on taking care of you and the kids, being a good parent and getting that new place to live in lined up, school starts soon and you will have issues related to that soon enough as well as being a single parent so you have plenty to worry about and deal with when it comes to you, stop worrying about what she's going to do, let her deal with that part herself, she isn't your responsibility anymore.
