I also mentally reviewed a pile of things that a lot of my "new friends' have written on this board and the one thing that I kept seeing was your mention of TIME.
It's early in the game. I need to adjust my perspective on this to be more patient with myself. I need to remember that I am rebuilding my entire life here.
This is about much more than the divorce. This is about other R's as well as this one. This is about deleting what "they did" in the R's and focusing on what I did .This is about analyzing how and why I'm in this situation. What is it about ME that led me to be in this position?
Then UNDERSTAND AND CORRECT those unhealthy views, tendencies, habits and reactions. It's gonna take more than two months to get them right.
CORRECT. Just make sure that you realistically identify when it's NOT about you, and that there are going to be things where YOU DID NOTHING WRONG.
It's a fine balancing act, CD, but newbies usually make either the mistake of not seeing ANY of their own role in their marital dysfunction, or, they swing wildly the opposite direction and think they need to change EVERYTHING about themselves -- even those things that are authentically a part of who they are.
But yes, TIME. My sitch took 3 months and that is FAST. Most take 6 mos. to 2 years (although a lot of that has to do with what YOU are willing to abide).
