Chapter 28 - Emergencies and winnings

[Toomanywords]

I guess I'll update.
Nothing you want to hear. He's still there. Said he wants to work on things, etc. Last week I tried - I sent texts saying hello. I made dinner all but 1 night - he made dinner. When he came home I asked about his day.
He text me a couple of times telling me he'd be late through the week.
Friday argument cause he was out chatting it up with the neighbors, after we went and rented a movie.
Saturday our parents came over to help with some stuff around the house/yard. Later he went over by the neighbors, our parents left, he stayed out with the neighbors till 2am. When he came in we argued a bit.
Sunday nothing, except he got upset cause I wouldn't have relations - I told him - not when there is no affection, no talking, etc. I will not feel used!

Yesterday I was talking to the woman I came out of 29 years ago - she tells me that she thinks I should see a specialist or something about a chemical imbalance because I look like I'm retaining water like a pregnant (my toes, fingers are not swollen. I have not gained any more weight, I also haven't lost any). (She knows I've already talked to my dr, they've checked my thyroid, checked for diabetes, etc). Also she mentions that I might be depressed and that BF called her and says I have no energy and such.
(she knows everything going on, she knows I've talked to a counselor who concured that with the situation, it's understandable to be down but I don't seem to be clinically depressed.)

I'm debating what, if any, response to give. last night BF confirmed he did in fact initiate the call to the woman whom I came out of. When I asked why he couldn't talk to me about these concerns, he gave the lame excuse that he didn't want to make me more upset.

I've had a gamet of thoughts. Everything from calling the woman who gave birth to him and telling her to move him out. Calling my father and letting him get into an uproar about this. I've even considered committing myself - just to prove a point.



I don't know. I just needed to vent somewhere. I'm hurt, frustrated, angry.
I'm upset that instead of sticking up for me - telling him that I put all my energy into this stupid, deadend, useless relationship; that if he talked to me, made effort in the relationship, appreciated me and actually loved me and showed it ... I wouldn't be depressed about the situation I've been in....instead of any of that - she agreed that I'm fat & depressed.