I'm new and need advice

[lovehurts]

I can't sleep. I just printed the "rules" I customized them to fit our situation. I did take out the part that he can't work there. It's just not feasible. If he agrees to this, I have to trust that he's honoring it. This is what I came up with:

A). You must end all contact with Crystal. No calls, no morning coffee. Nothing.
They have coffee together in his office every morning. He has a fancy coffee machine in his office that I've asked him to put in a common area before. A group of them pitch in and buy the Kcups and come in to his office for their coffee.
B). I have full access to phones, pc and fb account.
His phone is password protected and he changed the password when he found out I snooped. His FB account doesn't have the usual password he uses for EVERYTHING.
C). Marriage counseling with a therapist that is results oriented.
The person we are going to right now is very freudian and I don't like her at all. My individual therapist is the one that recommend the DB book and she recommended someone that is results oriented and she said he's phenomenal.
D). Do any necessary “homework” to strengthen our relationship.
Right now, as he said, he's not trying anything.
E). Send Crystal a letter of no contact signed by both of us.
Self explanatory.

I did something bad I can't undo this second. I unfriended him on FB so he can't see my posts. I thought better of doing that then realized that in order to undo it I have to friend him. I'm going to wait and see how long it takes him to notice. That can open up the conversation that not only will I friend him but I will give him full access to my account.

I feel exhilarated and anxious but that this is the right thing.

I don't agree with involving the kids. They are 12 and 16 yr old boys. I want to protect them. I believe letting them know we had a difficult time but worked through it with therapy is the right thing AFTER we've worked through these issues. This will also be a good way for me to involve his ex. She needs to know this is going on so we can work together for the kids. Again, I know she wants to see this work between us. I actually will have the opportunity to let her know tomorrow when I get the kids.

Thank you for giving me the courage and words to put to this. I know we can make it through this. I know we can!