tired of this

[A_goodman]

Heading home tomorrow. I'm a little nervous. W gave me a huge hug the morning we left. Might have been a continuation of the small turn she took the night before, but who knows it might have been joy to see me go. Haven't been dwelling on it. The kids are having a great time and I'm my old self. Crazy and fun and willing to fo whatever they want. It's been good.

Of the three times I've spoken to her, twice she called me. Slipped in a few "I miss you"s and an ILY. She left a long voicemail. She sounded tentative and almost pleading. Not sure what to make of it. She called my sister's phone before I called her back (~45 min later). We had a nice talk and I handed it off to the boys to wrap it up. Said she can't wait to see us all.

I'm certain she misses the boys. I hope she realizes this is what sharing custody will look like and that it is working on her psyche. But in the end, I have no illusions.

I guess I'm nervous bc I don't want to get excited if she is acting in a way that might seem encouraging. I've seen enough of my brethren out here fall victim to premature excitement or wishful thinking. A good thing about being in another state for a few days is it's kept me from making any mistakes. Or at the least examining everything to death to make sure I'm still on the right path.

Much to learn have I. Still.

Gonna wake up early and torch up a nice Hoyo de Monterey. You know, for clarity and focus

goodnight all.