I'm new and need advice

[lovehurts]

Ahhh this is what I was hoping for. Thank you! I feel a little naive but I need clarification on these:

a). Firmness rather than enablement: Are you suggesting I lay down the law and say "no more" I was under the impression that that's a bad approach. By enabling, do you mean allowing him time alone to be with her?

b). Simple concise points of fact thrown at him then exit: I'm trying to figure out a scenario for this. ie: Fact: what he is doing is wrong. Fact: This is hurting me and will devastate our sons. Things like that?

c). Friends and family all pressuring him to the same end - end the affair: This seems to go against what I've read as well but it goes along with my gut. His sister now knows and is appalled at his behavior but probably won't say anything. She's been very supportive of me. I've confided in two of his friends, but neither of them have made any attempt to talk to him. Nor have I asked them to at this point (but I've thought about it) I was just thinking today of calling another coworker (with whom I have a casual but good relationship with) to let her know what's going on (she's in the office across from them) and ask for her help.

d). Isolation from everyone and everything else: He's isolated himself. I don't believe any of his friends know this is going on. I'm not sure how to do this, or how it helps.

I was doing REALLY well a few weeks ago. Really focused on the GAL and felt 10 feet tall with confidence and that I was doing the right thing. Re-entered school, made a lot of girlfriend really fun dates, became super mom and step mom again. I'm starting to regress, it feels. Grasping at straws, trying to make him jealous over comments and compliments I've gotten. I'm a VERY strong and controlled individual but lately I feel like I'm spinning again. The first week after the bomb I lost 10lbs and barely slept. In doing this 180, though, I truly feel like I'm in a better place. If it all works out, I'm in a much better place. If it doesn't, I'm in a much better place. Extremely self aware and strong. So many friends and family members have said "I don't know how your doing this" "you are a class act" "you're so patient, strong, ect...

Again, thank you!