I'm new and need advice

[lovehurts]

Yes - still in contact. He works with her, she's in the office next to him - same department. He's coming back tomorrow night from an overseas trip. I asked him today if he's talked to her. After dancing around it, I asked for him to put all his cards on the table, he said "a few times." I said "so you aren't trying to end it with her" he said "I'm not trying to do anything" I said "you are trying to keep it going with her" He's a gift giver - he's always buying little trinkets and gadgets and usually brings back all sorts of little things from this trip. I asked if he bought her anything. Again, he danced around it then finally said "I have not gotten her anything...goof" I can quote this because it's actually on IM on our Skype account. I will say that he's made every effort to stay in contact with me morning and night while he's been over there. I just can't figure out these signs. I've actually given him a couple of opportunities to just go and he always says "stop it" but why won't he stop it with her? Why does he keep trying to convince me nothing is going on but talk to her? Why is he in such close communication with me? If he really wants to go, why isn't he telling me "I love her and I want to leave?" But he's so shut down with me. Won't tell me he loves me anymore and even began to push me away when I've initiated sex. I just have so many mixed messages from him. I have a few friends (one in the psych field and knew him when he shut down in his first marriage) who just can't figure it out.

I have said on several occasions that we can't make it work with her in the picture. I even asked her to step away while we try to figure this out. This was in the beginning and all she said was "I don't know what to say" She has a 2 year old son and just finalized a divorce.

BTW, for what it's worth, I posted wedding pics on my FB page and she unfriended me the next day - that was over a month after I found out about the EA. She'd been a "friend" on FB for a couple of years. (it sounds very high school but seems relevant)

I really appreciate your help and questions!