Early Parole from the MLC Chain Gang?????

[MHL]

SA & DW,
You know it is funny that you both posted to me tonight, I was thinking of posting something but I didn't feel like I had much to post. In fact I have been more preoccuppied with everyone else's sitch lately.

There was a time not too long ago that I would have posted about the hour my W was here tonight (pic on the alt), now it just seems normal that my W will hang out with me and drink a couple of beers. The friendship is there, it is not where I would like but it is there.

The trust is building between us but yet she went somewhere this past weekend propably with OM#1, she had a lot of sun, he has a place at the beach and a boat. Very likely she was with him, >>>>>whatever<<<<< don't care, really I don't, it is a funny feeling. I still love her, deeply, but I was okay this weekend, maybe this is "detachment" not sure. I feel myself moving through this and I am not even trying.

DW....your question.....hit it on the head........but I don't feel like that all the time, that is.......waiting to see what is going to happen. I have reached a point that if she files for D on Aug 26, I will be okay, in fact I know that I will probably continue to stand.......

......and then......

along comes SA's comment and she......hit on the head also.....

I can look back and see how far I have come, how much better it is between my W and I. I can see something in her eyes (Jack warned me not to put "words into her eyes, LOL) of course I think what I see is love and caring for me. Yes it is what I want to see, I understand that but when I look back at things that have happened I have to conclude that there is something inside of her that still loves me.

I also know that she could very well deny that and she could divorce me or just continue to eat cake indefinitely.

When I weigh everything in totallity I have to beleive she is returning to me.....one day.

She came over tonight to get our S9 to take him out to eat so she could spend time with him before he and D13 go to see my Dad and his wife for 6 days.(it will be over the weekend which her weekend to have him.)

So she shows up looking......well....awesome. Yes I think my W is beautiful, I really think she is better looking today than when we first met. Anyhow it does not make it easy on me, she dresses very sexy now, never used to before MLC. Never wore low cut tops or dresses....now.....you guys get the picture. Anyhow it does not make it easy for me to act somewhat indifferent as if Im not interested,........yep I admit it......

I'm a guy.........I like to look.

Well they run out to get a bite to eat and come back in about 1.5 hours later. I am folding clothes in the kitchen getting the kids ready to go and I am having a beer, so I offer her one. We chat for a bit and things are friendly, I purposely did not let our eyes meet, after all I am trying to go dim (shouldn't have offered the beer dumba$$) It was nice and nothing really happened otherthan she is completely comfortable hanging out here.

Soooooo.......

Why won't she take a step???? What is she waiting for???? I just want to grab her and hold her and tell her how much I love her and that I forgive her and that it will be different, better, unimaginable, and then I sweep her off her feet and........

well the kids are in the house so "that" probably wouldn't happen anyhow.....LOL.

Then I remember.....the squirrel.....I'm trying to feed the squirrel. The squirrel is pretty calm, starting to trust me and drink my beer. I just got to wait.

DW,
yes I am waiting.

SA,
I don't know about leaps and bounds but.....

Yes I am moving forward.

Cheers