She's in MLC, but I was weak. Now what?

[crushednstuck]

Help. W is still in her A and won't leave OM. However, she's entered some counseling with me. I'm dealing with an overly-empathetic therapist and am taking the 2x4s from both. "But she had the affair!", he said childishly.
W has recently shown warmth and is claiming to make the effort. I told her the biggest signal she could give me is one that she is not prepared to do. To her credit, she's invited me to dinner more than once. Sometimes these encounters end well, but mostly not. It's almost like she has a great time then has remorse over the interaction.
I spent an hour with my IC today who was proud of me. She says I'm patient and forgiving. Apparently, W and joint therapist think this under-emotional approach makes me the anti-christ. W has long claimed she needed more emotion from me. I'm no caveman, but I don't discuss what my co-workers were wearing today either. I was shocked that JT had no problem with her demanding honesty and full disclosure from me while she was still in her A. I was psyched to be in JT finally, but not like this.