I'm new and need advice

[lovehurts]

Allen: I don't know how to quote appropriately on here so I'll just try to address some of the things you've said. First of all, I'm extremely surprised because I haven't seen any posts that berate someone the way I have been here. I'm not at all proud of how we met. He was in the midst of a divorce, my ex H and I were not sleeping in the same bedroom. Do I wish we would have met after our D's were final? Absolutely, but the truth is we would have both ended up in the same place. That's not an excuse that's a fact. Do you remember reading that we took it slow and dated for a very long time before I even met his kids. Did you see that I said I have a great relationship with the ex? We actually do social events together. She has told me before she couldn't have handpicked a better step mom for her kids. She watched our 4 year old the other day because I had an unexpected event. We've been to family therapy, the 3 of us, over issues their 12 year old was having. People tell us over and over that they think it's strange that we get along. It works for us. I don't think she would be my friend if I didn't have this connection with her of the children...she's just not typical of the people I usually hang out with....but I respect her and it has been that way from day one. I repeat, I was not the cause of this divorce....she wanted out as bad if not worse than he did. She is happily dating someone that she's been with for a few years.

As far as therapy, we are in therapy together. I answered the question that someone else asked if we were individual therapy. I completely understand the pattern we are recreating. My intent is to stop it. I'm just shocked that I would come to a site looking for support to save my marriage and you post several times, essentially, that it's doomed. I disagree.

I haven't read back through your other posts, I will, but my guess is, I've struck a chord. My hope is, I will have others that are supportive. I understand and own our history - that is why I posted it. I could have easily left it out but it's part of our past (good bad or indifferent) and relevant to the situation.

Thanks for taking such a great deal of time to respond to my post.

Does anyone have positive advice for me or is this what I can expect on here due to our begining TWELVE years ago?