Went camping this past weekend with H and S. It was fun, but I am far too old to sleep on the hard ground. Especially with the baseball sized bruise still inhabiting my butt from falling into SIL's pool on the 4th of July.
The night before we left, I was transferring some CDs of H's to my ipod to listen to while away. A song came on and H got all emotional and teary and kept telling me to listen to the words to this one song. I had heard it years ago and remember it got to me then. Afterward I looked up the lyrics and that with H's reaction the other night and whoa. It takes my breath away, literally. Very eerily fitting and everything I ever dreamed of my H coming back and saying to me for the last 5+ years.
This time, This place Misused, Mistakes Too long, Too late Who was I to make you wait Just one chance Just one breath Just in case there's just one left 'Cause you know, you know, you know
[CHORUS] That I love you I have loved you all along And I miss you Been far away for far too long I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore
On my knees, I'll ask Last chance for one last dance 'Cause with you, I'd withstand All of hell to hold your hand I'd give it all I'd give for us Give anything but I won't give up 'Cause you know, you know, you know
[CHORUS]
So far away Been far away for far too long So far away Been far away for far too long But you know, you know, you know
I wanted I wanted you to stay 'Cause I needed I need to hear you say That I love you I have loved you all along And I forgive you For being away for far too long So keep breathing 'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore Believe it Hold on to me and, never let me go Keep breathing 'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore Believe it Hold on to me and, never let me go Keep breathing Hold on to me and, never let me go Keep breathing Hold on to me and, never let me go
Me38,H:38,S:7 Married:6/99 Bomb:7/04 Sep.:5/05 D Filed:3/08;Final 1/10 Piecing:11/09 H moved back:09/10 Current thread: http://tiny.cc/htcty
That is very touching Freckle. I'm so glad that you are rebuilding your love together
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
Just when my life is fairly happy again, reality comes and gives it the middle finger. We found out recently that my MIL has bowel (?) cancer. I'm not too sure of the specifics as she's still getting tests (a bone scan this week to see if it's spread to her bones...) and honestly, I don't want to know the details yet because anything short of her being here for another 20 years is too much for me to process. I do get the impression that this is serious due to the talk of looking for it spread to her bones.
I can't describe how much I love this woman and how much she means to me. I am so blessed to have her and my FIL in my life. I would never have gotten through those first couple of years without either of them. In a time when many in-laws distance themselves, instead they treated me as their own daughter. If anyone has some good thoughts or prayers to spare for her, I'd really appreciate it.
Me38,H:38,S:7 Married:6/99 Bomb:7/04 Sep.:5/05 D Filed:3/08;Final 1/10 Piecing:11/09 H moved back:09/10 Current thread: http://tiny.cc/htcty
In DBing news I think I can now seriously put myself in the piecing category. It's been 9 months since H's big turn around and this past weekend I *finally* got an ILY.
It came out amongst some emotional stuff where I was telling him that while I don't harbor any blame or anger or resentment for what he did (and I really don't), I still do have lots of feelings about what all that did to me and my life and our son.
Sometimes he talks of doing this and that to the house and it can make me feel defensive because I've done the best I could have being a new mom and instantly a single mom as well. He kept apologizing and telling me he messed up and that he's here now.
I had a yard sale the past couple weekends and last weekend the parents of a girl that played T-ball w/ our son were here. Once when we were talking to the mother she said "your husband" to me and it was kind of strange. Even though here I still call him my H, he's technically not anymore even though he acts more like my H than he had in the last 5 years when he was my H. Clear as mud? LOL
Me38,H:38,S:7 Married:6/99 Bomb:7/04 Sep.:5/05 D Filed:3/08;Final 1/10 Piecing:11/09 H moved back:09/10 Current thread: http://tiny.cc/htcty
I do get the impression that this is serious due to the talk of looking for it spread to her bones.