What should my great plan be for the separation decision? If I leave she would get yet another of her ways.
Maybe.. Maybe not.... The test for her will be when you suddenly act like YOU don't want HER anymore. When THAT happens is when SHE is going to find out she may have screwed up. At that point is when you do NOT let her have her way anymore. It is at THAT point where you turn this bottoms up.....
Your self confidence doesn't allow you to see that there is nothing wrong with you NOW. Your lack of confidence is coming through to her. (If I can see the lack of confidence, imagine how SHE must see, feel and observe it???)
Quote:
Will the "you don't like it, you leave" put a nail to the coffin?
I am not one of the people who will tell you to not leave. The ones who tell you that are just copying what they hear others say. The important thing isn't that you leave or you tell her to leave... THE MOST IMPORTANT thing is that ONE of you leave... The attitude should be.... "Ok I got the message.. I now get it.. YOU want me out. I agree. I don't want to live with a person who doesn't want to be with me. I don't know why I haven't seen that before. Ok. I think that I want YOU to leave. I want to stay here and I want this place. I would prefer that YOU go find a place."....
THEN... if they do NOT want to leave or will not leave..
Then YOU LEAVE.... It does NOT work for both to stay. It actually slowly erodes the chances. drip, drip, drip.. So, if she won't leave after you tell her what YOU want.. Then YOU LEAVE...
Do NOT live with a spouse who has told you they don't want you there. It does NOT work to stay. It does NOT gain you any respect EXCEPT if ONE OF YOU MOVE... It doesn't gain you anything by staying in the same house while they are having an affair or while they want you out. It ONLY makes them angry and more distant....
