Yes, I was co-dependent in the sense that I put X's wants, needs, and comfort above and before my very own.
Ah yes, myself as well, but really deep under that is the 'why' that you did that. That is the important piece.
In my case, lack of self esteem, of feeling 'equal' to my ex, or of truly believing I had as much value as she did, based on some pretty flawed logic and self imposed views, that come from a variety of places. ("No More Mr. Nice Guy" will ring a bell here..)
Then, what we take from the 'why' is acceptance. Accepting that yes, the reasons above, valid or not, were the root cause. Not feeling ashamed to admit it, and a lot of the cause of our issues was my own doing, and admitting that as well, and knowing you can't change it now.
But you can forgive yourself, and use that reflections in your current present moments.. Very liberating as well.
Radical Acceptance, and forgiveness, and mindfulness, very useful things in our present lives, and I know you are working on them!
M: 41 STBXW: 41 D: 9 Bomb: 4/26/09
On board the D train now..
"Suffering is when we try to change what we cannot."
