I don' know what to tell you...I feared the same thing and my H has taken some things from the garage that I would not classify as "his"....I had changed the locks after he brought OW here... a couple of weeks later I got D papers in the mail...not sayin' that is what promted him...just putting it out there.
Does he know you are headed out of town? I would suggest that you take pics of stuff with a digital camera...if it is gone when you get home...you will have proof!
If you are trying to save your M...be careful about what sets you off...stuff is stuff....don't fight over the little things...otoh...he left and has no right to come and take what he wants...
Erase the history off the computer or put a password on it so he cannot get on it!!!! Go and have fun!!!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
I was thinking of taking the keyboard with me so he couldn't come here and use the computer. Is that awful ?
I used to be such a trusting person, and I still am with other people, but not with him, not right now at least. NOT with all the stuff that he has done to me in the past month. I am sure as time goes on,I may again, but then again, he is so good at lying that maybe I will never trust him again.
I am still torn on if I should go as far as to change the locks, It would piss him for sure.
Me:43 H:43 T:20 YRS M:15 YRS Bomb: 6/9/08 Bomb#2 7/6/10 Served with papers at work 7/13/10 DD:14, DD:11
As for going out with him and the girls, if this makes you feel akward, don't do it, it sounds akward, it would be akward, I don't know why the heck he is saying it's ok if you come along if he is bent on D... though for a while, when my ex left (he came back 8mths later) I'd invite him to go with the kids and me if were going out or had a kids event... those were the first months of separation... do you also post on 'we are separated'? At the time my ex also had retained an L and I bought my time DB'ing... are you still Db'ing or are you done?
I agree with taking picts of everything just in case.
About changing the locks, that is a funny one, my ex's L told him it was ok (he remarried to a crazy woman last year and is trying to D her now) but when he did she called the cops and they told him it was illegal for him to do that even if he was the owner and her name wasn't on the house! the told him to give her a key, he refused (might've helped that he was a cop also)/
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
Thanks Courageous Wife. Had a nice relaxing weekend with the Girls.
Have a court date for Support in October. Not really sure what to expect. The Husband was just here, he has no where to take the Girls for his visits so he visits with them here. He did take them out to dinner, but then returned here. We tried to have a conversation about things. I don't know how I am doing. I tell myself to be calm and pleasant around him, but I don't seem to have my emotions under check yet. I come off cold and emotional. He said some things I give a cold answer and he to tells me to be nice to him. I don't know what to think. I think I have been pretty nice, I have been pretty much dark with him. I don't text,call or bother him about things. I don't harrass him in any way. He invited me to dinner with him and the Girls but I declined. When we were talking about finances he called me hun, he caught himself and said ge will stop doing that. Then when we were talking again he was saying how it is in my best interest to be nice to him and that get this he said I still love you. WTH!! I know he means love you but not in love with you. But come on, you are divorcing me, telling me how I my life is about to change.
Sorry for rambling on. He just left and left me confused as ever.
Me:43 H:43 T:20 YRS M:15 YRS Bomb: 6/9/08 Bomb#2 7/6/10 Served with papers at work 7/13/10 DD:14, DD:11
Glad you and the girls had a nice weekend! The more you write about your H, the more I think he is in MLC...have you read any of the resources on MLC? It might help you "understand" as best as anyone can understand MLC...it also might help with detachment! Once you get there, you will be able to interract better with your H.
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
Thanks !! I think I do need to work on this detachment more. I sometimes think I am there, but then when I see him, I lose all the strength I have gathered since the last visit. and I come off cold and emptional, I didnt really cry at any point this time but my eyes my have watered up at some points, like when he said I do still love you. I was not expecting that...Then why do you want a divorce so bad???
Me:43 H:43 T:20 YRS M:15 YRS Bomb: 6/9/08 Bomb#2 7/6/10 Served with papers at work 7/13/10 DD:14, DD:11
I sometimes see people post things about waiting to see if there spouse will proceed with the divorce...sorry if I don't understand. My husband had me served and I thought i had no choice then to find my own lawyer. Is this not the case ? How do I stall things, to slow it down ? I have a suport court date in October, should I keep this or keep things as they are for as long as possible ?
I really feel I have no idea what I am doing and what I should be doing ? I feel so lost. and I guess after my husband was here last night and tell me he doesnt think my lawyer is giving me the right advice, it leaves me wondering more and more.
Me:43 H:43 T:20 YRS M:15 YRS Bomb: 6/9/08 Bomb#2 7/6/10 Served with papers at work 7/13/10 DD:14, DD:11
Your L should be able to answer these questions..it seems like it is different in different states!
You had to sign the papers within a certain amount of time I am sure...you have to have support for you and your D's...but after that, there should be ways to drag it out if you want.
I counter-filed. This is asking that the court decide how we do things and will draw out the process. I the D papers H had sent to me, he wanted me to have full custody, split everything 50/50 and pay child suppot. Because of my cancer and that my job does not provide group health ins. I am asking for extra support. H got these papers beginning of May. He has not made a move to set a court date. I have not idea why. 1)He may see that he has it pretty good right now with what he is paying 2)he was in such a hurry to file and now he has calmed down or 3) his L has not explained things to him and he doesn't realize that HE is the one that is supposed to call his L and get things going!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
