My UFO (unbelievably fabulous observations)

[hoosiermama]

I read something on gardener's thread that I've heard before, even said before--but it sank in at a different level. The man who left me is much closer to the real person than the one I fell in love with. For years I waited for that guy to show back up, and I did all kinds of internal gymnastics to make him resurface--but he was long gone.

Holy $HIT, Hoozh. Light-bulb moment.

Ouch!!!

Puppy

yeah. funny thing--I've realized it before. I knew it a few years before he left (he doesn't--never will; his partners are supposed to meet his needs, that's the way it works for him). Sometimes these concepts sink in a layer at a time, and in different ways depending upon where one is at any given time in the healing process. I'm pretty sure that in the beginning of this whole thing I thought he was in MLC, because some of it fit--but also because I wanted to keep having hope, keep believing he might come back a better person. Not sure when I left that behind, but it was long ago. It was an exit affair with all the accessories--rewriting, blaming, rationalizing. Far easier than looking in the mirror and accepting he might have some responsibility for the marriage falling apart.