Near WAW with EA - almost textbook sich

[doing my best]

Well...still here folks.

The past few weeks in brief...flew back from XXXX to home. Left W and kids at her sisters so they can continue vacation. They return home this Wednesday. She has been up there 11 days by herself. I still call to talk to her and the kids to see what they are up to because every day is a new adventure.

Problem is....I have caught W in a major lie. On Friday I called talked to my D and she says that "mommy just got home after meeting a friend". Well of course this is her hometown and there are lots of friends for her to meet. So I talk to W and she tells me she met friend from college. She proceeds to tell me all about the breakfast/lunch. Well guess what....W does not know it but we have been planning a surprise b-day party for her next month. She does not know that I have been in touch with a number of her friends INCLUDING this one. She also does not know that this friend innocently told me he has NOT seen W since she has been on visit. So....she is lying to me. That is one problem. Other problem is that old BF does live 90 minutes away. My guess is she met him.

I tried to press W the next day about her "breakfast" with old college friend. She kept the same story so I got a bit more aggressive without telling her what I know. W started to get mad at me and called me controlling and that is what is pushing her away.

Anyway, I sent W an email trying to drop hints about being open and honest and not lying. Did not tell her what I knew. She responds back that she has no idea what I am talking about. Do not want to corner her on phone while she is 1000 miles away. Better to talk in person. Plus I do not want her driving all the way back 1000 miles with my little kids in a pre-occupied mindset.

So there you have it. Trying to stay patient. Will want to bring this up in the joint MC session with counselor. Not alone with just W.

At least for once I know something and that gives me a weird sense of peace.

DMB