Not sure where to start, or end. WAW?

[john28]

When you've asked your W for password to FB, etc., have you gave yours to her? You see, if she has nothing to hide...then there would be no reason for her to withhold a password.

Yes, I've done exactly that. I actually wrote all my stuff down and handed it to her and walked away. She still is "considering" giving me hers. She says that that by me wanting those passwords, I'm being controlling, acting like her father, snooping on her, etc. She doesn't like that. However, I think she does understand how it can be important to building trust, so she's heavily considering it. We have a MC session today. I'm going to bring it up then, because I know this MC is a DB fan. This MC has quoted several DB saying on her blog. I know she'll understand transparency as the ONLY way to rebuild trust.

Are you thinking about what your boundaries will be?

Yes.
1. Transparency on both our parts.
2. Explicit and immidiate confirmation if the OM contacts her.
3. No more name calling.
4. Will not invalidate feelings with arguments. Even if there is a disagreement, the words, "You are stupid, you shouldn't feel like that, etc" will not be tolerated.
5. ...I'm sure there are more.

Good job at not caving when you saw her nude! I know that must have been very difficult. Now, here's a word of warning, at some point she will probably use sex to see that she still can use that as her tool to control you. If you are strong enough to have the attitude of "Thanks but no thanks", that will show her that you are in control of yourself and that ML will not be a "controlling tool" in your M.

Well, I WANT to believe you! Believe me! I do! But, she has zero sex drive always. If I counted on her to initiate sex, even when we're having an awesome M, we'd have it once a month at best. I agree that it may be used as a tool at some point. But, I'll be honest, saying NO to sex would be the hardest thing I've ever done in my entire life after this drought.