Well, he is trying, but I'm not sure of the motivation for it, which is the hard part right now. If I had to say, it's not because he wants the M but because he doesn't want me to force him out of the home.

Honestly, right now he is not crossing any boundaries. That's the positive. The negative is, he's not doing anything to work on the M either, other than our daily 30 min. conversations: no counseling, no book reading, no seeking to improve the R by activities for just the 2 of us, etc... Of course, I have not forced that issue because I am giving him his week to consider things and that week is not yet up.

I'm not sure what I will do if H doesn't bring up it being the end of a week and doesn't have a decision of any kind, yet is not crossing boundaries. It's like doing the bare minimum to not be forced out yet stagnant at the same time.

All of this gets even more complicated right now, with D only having basically 4 days left at home! It's an emotional time. On a practical level, she won't be around to help build that wall.

S16 is a different story. H came to bed last night and told me that S16 told him he was ticked about the sex texting with the old gf. I had asked S16 not to say anything to H about me telling him about that, but it's unfair to ask a 16 year old to keep quiet. That was the one thing he was really ticked about, more than anything else because it's a definite wrong in his book. H was probably miffed that I told S, but he did not get defensive. I told him that all 3 of the kids are trying to be strong, but they are upset about what's going on and rightfully so. I didn't focus on the text msg but on the bigger picture. I told him I explained to S that there were bigger issues to deal with other than the text message - but S had a right to be angry about it.

I keep reiterating to S16 that the bigger problem is that H refuses to work on the M and is willing to walk away after 20 years, not the text message. That was just a symptom. I wish he would see that more clearly. In any case, just goes to show that these private conversations need to halt. I guess I will cross that bridge this week as well, come decision time.