Long Distance Issues.....Possible WAW

[Dazed&Confused]

Thanks guys. I appreciate the advice and the book recommendation. I am getting swamped in my reading these days. I have DB and DR I'm trying to get through. I have a "happiness" book on my wish list and now a co-dependancy to add.

If it were only that easy, just read them and all of my answers would come! I am starting feel overwhelmed. There is so much info to process, it's hard to find a path and stick to it. I am trying though.

I had a great conversation with my son yesteday. He has his first loose tooth and told me that I needed to call him everyday. I asked him why, and his response was "because Daddy, what happens if I lose my tooth and you don't call that day?" That little statement brought me so much joy, and sort put some things into perspective for me. No matter how bad the "big" things in life seem, the "little" things are what is important. I think that set me up for a good night, and I didn't have many issues sleeping for the first time in a while. So that is a positive.

I am not sure what is going to happen next. The wife said she wanted to know my decision on the lawyers by Wednesday. I guess I will see when Wednesday gets here. I am going to respond with what Puppy suggested.

"Let me be clear. This divorce is YOUR idea, not mine. It's still not what I want. I'm not going to FIGHT you on it, other than to make sure me and our kids are protected and treated fairly, but I'm NOT going to speed things along just to meet YOUR deadline, either. This is your deal, and I'm going to be as careful as I need to be."

It sums my feelings up perfectly. I really want to get to get a parenting plan worked out and agreed upon. That will be my recommendation. It is my first priority, and if she wants to continue with moving forward, it will have to be on my terms. Once we have that worked out, I really don't care what comes next. It looks like I will be paying an arm and leg for child support regardless if I am taking care of the kids half of the time. I will figure something out.

I plan on staying positive, at least those are my feelings at the moment. I try and remind myself that I am only in control myself and it does help a little.

As far as sacrificing goes, I agree for the most part. I have done it with friends and I get that. With the wife, I am slowing learning that with the way she feels towards me, it may be best for me to sacrifice. I just do not see how it is in the best interest for our children. There are just too many negatives.

I know that raising kids in a negative environment is not a good thing. But that is what is driving me crazy. The environment we have our kids in is/was a good one. We never fought in front of them, or even yelled. Yes, we have our issues like any other couple, but we are not even trying. She does not want to. I understand that this is her choice, her feelings. I just do not understand how she can think that this is in the best interest of our kids. Maybe she doesn't, who knows?

Thanks again for the advice