While this is a very sad statement to have to make I often think people think it's okay to ask about divorce because it's such a normal and accepted part of our society.
I agree 110% it's terribly rude and invasive for somebody you don't know well to ask about particulars (who left who and the other examples you shared) but honestly, some people really just don't get it. When something is viewed as "ok and acceptable" people tend to think it's perfectly fine to talk about it with strangers.
I certainly am not siding with the people ask such personal questions but I tend to wonder if they really don't take them as terribly rude!
You wouldn't feel odd if you were at the market and somebody said "nice weather we are having today?".. sadly, divorce is just as common as the weather. It happens each day and to the outsider it's hardly an UNcommon occurrence.
When somebody starts asking me questions that I find too invasive or personal (RE: my divorce) I simply thank them for their concern and let them know it's a highly personal matter and one I do not discuss.
Oh, and cake is NOT junk food IMO it's just food. One that should be consumed (heavily) each day!
Damn right, Mystik! If I could reach through the screen and hug you right now I would! This is the first time I have heard you "be tough"! I LIKE IT!
No, no cake for the H's! Oh HELL no! We can have cake though (be it the sugary delicious kind or the kind that is 6 feet tall that walks and talks, either way, ENLOY)
Mrs. A., Good one, ain't it? But I can't take the credit. Someone used it a while back on either Surviving or Newcomers and I laaaughed.... Just passin' it along.
Peace,
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
Newmama got her groove back....I got my cake last night!!! No 2x4s- I will just throw them back at you (lol!).
OK zoobrew called me around 5 p.m. I was very wary...I mean I loved the fact that he called and I was really surprised to hear from him (so soon!). So I was talking to him but trying to figure out his intention for calling. He started off saying that he was thinking of our conversation the other night and wanted to clarify something he said about relationships (about how he doesn't want someone to "take care" of him...he meant he didn't want to be mothered; he wanted a partner)
So we are talking for about 45 minutes and he asks me my plans for the week. Long story short, he invites me over for a movie "just to hang out."
His house was gooooorgeous! Wow! And we were both so relaxed and comfortable, chatting away, teasing each other, and I asked him at the start of the movie, "The Crazies," if it bugged him if people talked during the movie. (because I talk a little here and there! hee hee) Well turns out HE was talking a lot! It was really fun.
We had wine, I got to "cuddle" with him, I waited forever for him to kiss me but I think I still was the one who made the move, damn it! He put his arm around me and was rubbing my arm. We watched the whole movie...well 90% of it...before I just turned and looked at him and he kissed me. He loved my perfume (Ralph Lauren "Cool"--I always get compliments on it. Stbxh found it for me and I decided to wear it until I find a new one!)BUT THEN he asks "do you want to go upstairs?" Now I told him earlier that inviting someone over to watch a movie is kind of code for asking them to sleep with them. (I don't know if this is what others think but my friends and I always have!)
He said "really? I swear I was just asking if you want to hang out! I think you are really fun to talk to! This was spur of the moment....although I know you have been without since November 2008" (lol! He remembered)
So I will spare you the details but I thought that I would be like a pouncing tiger and instead I wanted to "take it all in!" And he did say that would like to see me again and I agreed but we didn't say when. I also am not dumb, folks, he could get weirded out again like after the last kayak date.
What sucks is that I accidentally left my ring and bracelets over there!! So I do really need the ring. It is important to me. Just wasn't thinking straight, I guess!
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
Wait, I think you missed a paragraph somewhere in there...I lost you between "...without since November 2008" and "So I will spare you the details"
Well NM, I'm REALLY happy for you just as long as you know what you're doing which sounds like you do. Oh and usually you're supposed to leave other thing(s) not the ring and bracelets! - tip for next time
Quote:
Now I told him earlier that inviting someone over to watch a movie is kind of code for asking them to sleep with them.
I didn't know this but I'm glad I didn't go see 'a movie' when G4 invited me.
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
Hey! (gently shouting) I did NOT intentionally leave the jewelry! I was rushing to get out there...
OK he better be a gentleman and text or call me today.
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
IMO it's just food. One that should be consumed (heavily) each day!
He put his arm around me and was rubbing my arm. We watched the whole movie...well 90% of it...before I just turned and looked at him and he kissed me. He loved my perfume (Ralph Lauren "Cool"--I always get compliments on it. Stbxh found it for me and I decided to wear it until I find a new one!)BUT THEN he asks "do you want to go upstairs?" Now I told him earlier that inviting someone over to watch a movie is kind of code for asking them to sleep with them. (I don't know if this is what others think but my friends and I always have!)
