As of just now he no longer wants me to go anywhere with him and the kids. He said he doesn't have to do sh!t with me. Sooooo, he said "I don't want yo tagging along".
M:28 H:30 DD-9| DD-7| Baby- Due 11/10 T-14 | M-8
10/08- Bomb 4/09- Failed attempt at Marriage Fitness Program 3/10- WH moved out. 7/10- Informed me he's filing in Aug
Ask your gf when it was that her xh wanted to R. I bet she tells you it's when she dropped the rope and stopped caring what he did.
When it is getting close to time for your H to leave on Sun., why don't you busy yourself with a project or playing a games with the kids, etc. Be involved with something other than him and make yourself scarce. Maybe you can escape the D talk altogether.
I will. I'm officially disgusted with him. He now said he will not put his last name on the baby until we get a paternity test. How dare he?!! He won't be up here till the 20th or 27th and I will not be speaking to him until then.
He had the nerve to say "wake up and see I don't want you. I can't and wont live with you"
I'm sure the idiot thinks I put DD7 up to her saying what she did today. He said I need to stop asking him to take me back. That hasn't even happened!!!
M:28 H:30 DD-9| DD-7| Baby- Due 11/10 T-14 | M-8
10/08- Bomb 4/09- Failed attempt at Marriage Fitness Program 3/10- WH moved out. 7/10- Informed me he's filing in Aug
He now said he will not put his last name on the baby until we get a paternity test. How dare he?!!
GG!! He really has jumped off of the responsibility cliff. It will be a hard landing. If you are married, paternity is probably assumed, and in any case you declare the father for the BC if he isn't there. Let him challenge it. Reality will come crashing down.
Wow. Sadly, I sympathize, but am not surprised.
M 65 H 64 T 39 & M 36 @ S 12/08 Two Ds
Do you know that the harder thing to do and the right thing to do are usually the same thing? Nothing that has meaning is easy. ~ The Weather Man
Yeah we're married. His defense is I went out GAL one nite in Jan. Got home a lil drunk. So now bc of that the baby supposedly might not be his. I told him "you're so intelligent as are all of your friends do the math. She's due 11/13. We had unprotected sex the one damn day I was ovulating and hadn't paid attention. He also says I got pregnant on purpose to trap him. I said if our two kids he's been raising couldn't keep him how can a baby he doesn't even know have that effect.
If he wants a paternity test, let him pay big money to feel stupid. We're from NY. Nothing is cheap there. He's such an a$$.
M:28 H:30 DD-9| DD-7| Baby- Due 11/10 T-14 | M-8
10/08- Bomb 4/09- Failed attempt at Marriage Fitness Program 3/10- WH moved out. 7/10- Informed me he's filing in Aug
How is your pregnancy going and does your Ob-gyn know the stress that you are under?
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
I like the "I'd rather be me than him". THAT truly sums it up. We are working out butts off trying to work through the crap.
My H returns home after 4 hours away. I am actually feeling pretty happy because he has been gone. Then he says "have you eaten dinner", like it's some sort of concern thing. I want to say "get a life A-hole". What sort of planet are these WAS's on??
2- My D17 was actually conceived when I was already separated from my first H (very long and ugly story). He questioned paternity and all the rest. I was EXTREMELY stressed out during the pregnancy but thankfully my D was born healthy and strong...I mean, really strong...she is emotionally stronger than me sometimes. I think she was a fighter then (in utero) and she is a fighter now. She has been without a doubt, one of the biggest blessings in my life.
Just ignore what your H says. He can easily figure out if the baby is his or not after the baby is born. Just continue to remind yourself that your H is just looking for ways to justify his bad behavior and that this is not how a healthy man treats his pregnant wife.
Hang in there. Life will get better one way or the other. Focus on your three little blessings!
I know how you feel in regards to telling family. My M had been the "rock" of the family. My sister had several divorces, my brother floated through gf, even both our parents had obviously rocky patches. And while we had rocky patches at times, we held it together and were always very affectionate. So it was a big pill to swallow to know I'd have to break the news to my family, especially given how shocked I'd know they'd be and especially given the answers I'd know they'd want. But I encourage you to do so. It wasn't easy and I kind of wimped out by doing it via email. But I handled it like we are taught to handle out H. Short, sweet, to the point. I said, H moved out, I am not happy about sitch, but I won't be dicussing issues. I appreciate your support. It of course prompted phone calls right away but at least the cat was out of the bag. I got questions as to why, how, etc. But I kept on point. It's H decision. I still love H but I will go on. Up to him etc. I'm glad I did so because it helps to have family supporting you even though like you, they are far from me. And with your preganancy, you really DO need some extra support. I wish you the best with everything.
"Love me when I least deserve it, for that is when I need it the most"
M18 Me39,H42 D16 Bomb 1/10 Moved out 3/10 OW 6/10 H wants to R,OW gone 11/10 H moves back 5/11 H wants to wear rings again 9/11
My midwife doesn't know, my girls have been with me at my appts, and I'm not comfortable mentioning it in front of them. He knows he can't really file till the baby is born but he's going to the lawyer and filling out the paperwork anyway. Adding more stress to me and the baby.
This morning he texts me asking for my SS# and info, I told him to look it up in the tax returns he has b/c I'm not helping him fill out the paperwork.He threw hsi tantrum. He said "you don't know what hell is but now you will"
He's planning on a custody battle and "more" to screw me over he said.
He said he gave and gave and never received,and all I was good for was cooking and sex b/c making love has been out the window for 8 yrs already. I did EVERYTHING in our house, and EVERYTHING for him so how dare he?!
He's spewing away via texts b/c I won't help him with my info for divorce papers. Too damn bad. This hasn't been easy on me, my kids, or the baby, so I'm not making it easy for him.
Either way he's filing, so why make it easy?
Our little one is sick, her stomach has been acting up since she asked him to move closer on Sunday, and he gave her his famous line. He texts me again asking for their SS#'s. When I say I'm bz, he starts saying "maybe your getting busy" ??? Ummm I'm dealing with a sick 7 yr old.
I told him I'm dealing with DD7 and you're not my priority anymore, so no I will not be answering your msgs. He said sorry tell her i'll call her later I hope she feels better and I love all 3 of them. That you do well (mothering)
I told him I don't need his approval.
I'm not fishing for his 1/2 assed compliments. Basically 5 mins earlier he said I'm a good prostituting chef and that's all I've been worth to him for our entire marriage..... We've been married 8 yrs, together 14. Now he wants to pay me a fake compliment? I KNOW I'm a good mom, my girls have had A+ grades since day one of school b/c I set them up for success not him.
He knows since I moved to this new town I'm not working, this was his damn idea b/c the kids were suffering being in school then a sitter for 12 hours a day. He said ok, quit your job, move (2 hours away) to where their dream school is, and hopefully by summer I'll be up there. NOW he says he never said the summer thing and that DD9 and I are liars.
Since he knows I have basically no money, NOW that I haven't been working for 5 months, he's filing, b/c I can't possibly afford an attorney. Now I'm screwed. Makes me want to pack up my kids and leave to a state that's 20 hrs away to live with family and get on my own 2 feet down there. If my kids weren't so in love with him I'd do it. How dare he now want to fight for custody?! They weren't important enough for him to fix the damn marriage!
Now he's texting me with very nasty language telling me how much he HATES me. Told you this is too far gone for any DBing.
He told me he plans on leaving for good in jan after his bday. Never to be seen again by anyone he knows, inc his family, our kids, his mother. He says he's just going to disappear.
Yet he loves his kids. Nice way of showing it. I don't know what to do anymore.
Last edited by 2gthrButApart; 08/10/1001:59 PM.
M:28 H:30 DD-9| DD-7| Baby- Due 11/10 T-14 | M-8
10/08- Bomb 4/09- Failed attempt at Marriage Fitness Program 3/10- WH moved out. 7/10- Informed me he's filing in Aug
