I am a DB'er who was here a LOT for awhile, and still peek my head in. I saw your name, and was immediately drawn to read your sitch! Not sure where you are, but I'm just South of the IL border.
I have a lot of comments re: infidelity, but not a lot of time right now. I live in a neighborhood where most of the husband's are MD's, and my best friends are their wives. That is not an easy role. Especially, if he's specialized...
I spent TOO LONG trying to Divorce Bust, but it had to be in MY time that I dealt w/the affair (emotionally), and moved on (mentally). I'm glad I did it, but I feel like part of the 2 1/2 years I put into the effort was for naught.
I think I have a clinically depressed (or just plain whacked) STBX, as well, but he will NEVER go to see a doctor about it, nor would he even consider counseling. You have that on your side!!!
First things first... make sure that affair is handled appropriately. You can't do anything w/the two of you until that and/or any others, is dealt with.
I'll be back.
Good Luck!
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
