I did borrow the Divorce Remedy from the local library. So far got to around page 100 (in the middle of step 5). It is very hard to do anything right with the OM in the picture. We have no kids which is a good thing, but then again if kids were involved then maybe she would think about things more. The OM takes up all of her time and sometimes it is 3 days or so until she calls or texts me. I have shown her several good changes in myself, but it seems that she ignores all my efforts. Like last Sunday night I was over so that we could pay my bills with the online checking account (we have a joint account, but i surrendered my debit card as well as house keys when i moved out). I knew that she needed the grass cut so the next morning I was over at the crack of dawn to mow the lawn. She and the OM work for a newspaper agency so she delivers newspapers in the morning and does other stuff as well (since her sister owns the agency). Her OM went out of town the past 2 nights and needed her to do his newspaper routes for him. Knowing that she could not do both his and hers I volunteered to do her route while she does the OM's routes. She won't let her family know about her situation because her sister sides with me and has threatened to fire the both of them and her brother hates the guy since the backrub situation. So noone knows I did the route for her, but that's okay as I really didn't mind doing it for her.
To make matters worse, today she finally told me what the doctor said. She has a lump in her throat that the original doctor thought was a blood clot. She wasn't satisfied so went for a second opinion and did some tests. Comes to find out that she either has aneurism of the lymph nobes in her main neck vein or cancer. Will know more on Monday. I thanked her for finally telling me, but now worry that I may not have much time left as she may not have long to live.
I am always busy with work, but now live next to a park and walk the trails at least once a week. It does help a little to clear my mind of things. I don't get much sleep as I probably sleep around 4 hours a day, but the past couple days I've been up for 56 hours straight. I try to eat once a day, but it is a hard struggle as some days I don't eat at all as my tummy is too upset. Like the other day I didn't eat at all, but tried to force myself to eat something. I opened one of those handi-snacks cheese and crackers and after I ate the first cracker...I couldn't eat the other three. Other nights I have made burgers or steaks and was able to eat them. Unfortunatly I am a very picky eater and a not so good cook. Thank you for your prayers as I have a feeling I will need everything I can get. Tomorrow will be day 60 apart
