How do I do a 180 when we've been living apart for 18 months? We were talking everyday but a lot of the time it was about work or house or kid stuff.
Right now, even though there are many things on the table to discuss, this is not the time to do so. Let his phone calls go to voicemail, and don't answer his texts unless there is a specific question. There's a 180 for ya right there!
You didn't mention if you had children. How long have you been married?
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And today I told him I had time off in mid august and thought I'm come there and was timing ok with him? At first he said yes (after all it's my house too) but shortly after he called me back to say he thought it was underhanded of me bc he's planning and meeting OW (first time) on Aug 21st! So i told him I wouldn't come then if that's how he feels.. I'm devastated.
I recommend you 'change your mind.' You are going to your house, and if he is there - fine. If not -still fine. You need to go home and get some things straight for yourself. He is openly involved with another woman - so you need to get some things in order to protect yourself. Go back to your house and get your vital papers, copies of financial info, things like that. Do not ask him if that is a good time for you to go to your house - tell him you will be there. Marilyn to H: "I'm going to be home on these dates. I have a lot of things I need to get done, so I don't know if I'll have time to talk very much with you even if your are there. If you are around, let me know when you're free and I'll see if I can fit it in." If he asks what kinds of things you have to get done, tell him the list is long and the list is yours. Period. This is not spite, Marilyn - this is you taking care of yourself in the face of a brutal fact: your H is involved with someone else. You have to put on your strong game face. Be devastated in private - or vent here - but when dealing with him, all strong and detached.
You'll get more traffic on your posts tomorrow. Weekends are kind of slow. Hang in there. Greek
Me45 H46 T25 M22 S21 & 19 D13 Separated and filed 8/08 Moved home 11/08
