What to do?

[packergirl34]

Hi all. Thanks for the advice. I have been reading a lot on the boards today and feel better.

I am getting exercise, about five times a week. I have a triathlon in two weeks and a half marathon in about six weeks and I don't want to have to skip those.

My husband is being really good with taking the kids. We don't have a financial arrangement as of now. Currently, he is living in a furnished apartment and I'm in the house and we are just keeping our checking account. I was never one to spend a lot of money, so I'm just keeping to our usual habit. He is an MD so we are really not hard up for money at the moment. He has stable employment and is not asking me to go out and get a job, which is good. He knows I'm in charge of the kids most of the time and it's up to me to be here when they need a parent if they're sick or when they don't have school.

He has them this weekend and I have been following the DB rules. I have not called them or texted him and he has actually called a few times to check up on me, so I take that as a good sign. I have this weekend to work on stuff around the house and to take time for myself. This is the first full weekend I have had to think about what he has done and to reflect on our marriage. I know now that I have been ignoring signs (he has had online relationships that I disregarded until his physical relationship with this friend of mine.) It makes me angry but I'm not going to let him see my emotion.

As far as the kids are concerned, all they know is that daddy has some work to do at an apartment when he gets done with his normal job and that he needs time to do his work, but will be happy to have them sleep over when it's his turn. My son is 8 and believes a lot. He has asperger's so takes things very literally. My daughter, who is 5, seems content, too. I know that if this becomes a long term separation that we'll have to say something, but right now they are pretty ok with daddy's "work" apartment.

I'm eating pretty well. I am not a religious person, so I don't go to Church, but I have been reflecting a lot on stuff. I am trying to read as much as I can on this and I'm keeping busy. Today I cleaned out two closets and watched a movie and slept in. In the beginning of all of this, I lost a lot of weight, but now I'm eating better. I don't eat a lot of meat, so I had a huge plate of sautéed zucchini tonight, which was good.

I don't drink a lot, simply because I'm already dealing with an alcoholic brother and my husband, who has been drinking too much. I'll go out once in awhile, but I don't like feeling icky the day after, and since I'm going to the Y so much, I want to be in good form for that.

The whole situation hasn't hit me yet, I think. It's still surreal for me to even be contemplating not having him in my life as my partner. We never fought, had regular dates, had a lot of sex, and went on vacations together without the kids. The only thing I nagged him about was money, but that was because he seemed so blasé about our finances when I'm the one who pays the bills at the end of the month. He and I do have a different view on saving, because I come from a family who saves a lot and his family spends a lot, but I thought we had struck a pretty good balance.

I feel so fortunate to have supportive family and friends, and I'm glad he and I are getting along well. I just hope he comes to his senses soon.

Thanks for all your advice!