your post wasn't too long luvless, my condolences to you & your family, you're going through a lot right now and your grandma passing away gives you perspective on what's really important, living your life, you don't know how much time you have, none of us do, that's why you have to make sure you live a good life for you so that you set an example for your kids to do the same thing.
You are going through quite a bit right now and it's definitely fine to vent with your friends, that's what friends are for.
