I can relate to that. Worst thing we can do is monitor WAS's behavior, looking for signs they have decided we are "worthy" of "keeping" us after all. I find myself doing this here and there, in my "weak" moments and it really cuts my soul. Doing so only sets us up for another fall. Don't we all deserve much more than we are getting out of our R's? Why do we want to save the M anyway? Different reasons for all of us, but we need to be honest about that....
