CG, You are so right, N. Our body/mind connection has to release cumulative stress. Life events that are totally unrelated to our Xs can manifest themselves in X anger/obsessing. Go figure. Sorry about your purge Friday night. I was having one last night and somewhat this morning. And just as CTH and you and I discussed, the absolutely perfect antidote just arrived: X came over.
She called. I never answer. VM says she's out and nearby and wants to come over and spend some time getting some of her things from the basement.
Now, last August, she said she was going to come over and get all her stuff out of the attic. Mr. Nice Guy schlepped two dozen boxes down for her, lined them all up in the basement on raised platforms (moisture) and that considerable, generous effort got me accused of "trying to throw her out of her own house." And she wound up taking only three or four things and the rest has remained there for a year.
I go open the garage door so she can just go straight to the basement to do her thing. She pulls up about 2 minutes later, if that, with surgically-attached teacup dog with her, of course. The divorce says she simply has to "notify" me when she does so: no more, no less. But two-minute advance notice? I may have to set a boundary on that. That's pretty much barging in in my book.
She calls, "hellooo," from outside and once from the basement. I ignored her: I didn't want to see or talk to her and hadn't been expecting her.
But from the window I happened to see her twice, wasn't watching, just saw her as I walked by a window.
I imagine she was pretty surprised to discover that about two months ago, I had moved all her possessions, per the Divorce Agreement - furniture, pictures, paintings, shelves, mirrors- everything from my home and put it all in the basement as I no longer wanted to live among her belongings. I had looked into how to do it: the temperature's fine and I keep the humidity at 55% with a dehumidifier, so everything's fine.
She left not two minutes later with a plastic cooler. That's it.
It was good for me to "see" her, however fleetingly. After a couple of days of pining again for my memory of who she once was and lamenting the sad, damaged little girl she was/is, I saw the adult, the woman, the person for whom I really have no feelings - or any respect -for anymore.
I needed that. Today.
Last edited by Gardener; 08/08/1008:04 PM.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
And she wound up taking only three or four things and the rest has remained there for a 
