I'm so sorry that you're having to find your way through your H's fog.
I know a little something about pain management and some of the patients in our clinic are veterans. If your H has had 3 surgeries he may be using a lot of prescription pain killers. These can alter a person's personality if they become dependent on them. If this is the case with your H, it makes me wonder if the OW is helping to enable him in this dependence? Just shooting in the dark here, but I've seen this scenario many, many times. I'm sorry that I haven't read all of your thread, but If your H was injured in Iraq he may have a traumatic brain injury that can alter his moods too.
