After Exposure - Keep It Going

[Quicksilver264]

Clearly it's not always possible to engage in discussing this in a civilized manner in person with you. Therefore, I am taking the time to write this out in the hopes it will clarify things for you. When our marriage became troubled I took the time to explore marriage therapy, do research, and invite you to do the same. I gave you an opportunity to explore counseling and you took that offer at first, but ONLY as a means to "ease the divorce process", and then threw it away.

When you filed for divorce I gave you the opportunity to live here respectfully with each other until our divorce was final, however you took that offer and chose to continue with online sex chats and other things with several men in secret. I gave and you took without regard to my feelings, or the repercussions of your actions.


Our marriage had problems like any other. I took ownership of my 50% like a mature adult. I am willing to completely own my half of the problems with our marriage, and accept those and a divorce. You terminated counseling, you filed for divorce, you were unfaithful with at least two men, and when I stood up for myself against these insults originating from my own home, you chose to move out. Your "friend" chose to contact me SEVERAL times, and flaunt the details of you visiting him DURING THE SUMMER, which incidentally is before our divorce would have been finalized, and would have violated the "marriage law" you claimed that you will stick to. What I cannot accept in good conscience is my being accused of not being cooperative, nor being spiteful and vindictive. Each step outlined above was your choice made that created enormous conflict to its peak, and make an otherwise civil divorce ugly. I will not have an ugly divorce.


I gave many chances - many chances - and you took those chances and offered scorn in return. I will not be disrespected any further by being called spiteful, vindictive and self-serving. I will live in the home I have lived in, and I will not be forced to move elsewhere until my affairs are settled in the best possible manner. I will live in my home, and will live the lifestyle I choose to live The home will be clean, maintained, and even improved for the chance of sale in the future. Until such time I will live there and I will live the life I chose to - a healthy honest life. A life free of your lies, free of your cheating, and free of your accusations towards me. I gave an offer of monogamous commitment until the divorce was final - I gave and you took - therefore my commitments to you, you forfeited.


You are more than welcome to view the home to ensure it is maintained, but I will not allow you to dictate my lifestyle to me now that you no longer live in the home. Mine has been thus far much healthier, constructive, and honest than yours. Should you chose to visit the house, you can visit between the hours of 10 am and 8 pm and you will make a 24 hour notice beforehand. When you visit you will be polite, you will be honest, and you will control your temper or you will be asked to leave.


Initially, I gave my everything to fight for the Marriage, and to hold our family together. I soul-searched, I looked inward, I went to counseling, and I reached out to others in order to make myself a better, more empathetic, and sociable person. I also paid for couple's therapy, which depleted my insurance account in order to provide a way for both of us to heal this immense pain. However, I was repeatedly and unwillingly placed into this process. With regard toward my stance on the house, none of my actions are intended in any way to cause hurt or pain. I am taking a consistent stand and position that I will remain in the first home of my own until I am able to either refinance and buy you out, or the financial situation is no longer sustainable.

Until that time point, I ask you respect my decision to remain here, just as I have respected your decision to leave both the home and marriage.