The tunnel...wow my H was deep in his...and arrogant, proud, and stubborn...when he came back and realized what he had lost it was very quiet...not like his exit...don't think that it happens like in the movies where the man returns begging on bended knee...sometimes they return and want to act like nothing happened...how you handle this has a lot to do with the success of the tunnel exit, I believe... My H didn't want to admit he was wrong initially...but over time I could see it in his actions...don't look for a lightening bolt moment...I think those are very very rare... Now for the LBS being piled with all the blame...typical...I was the reason H was unhappy, the reason he had to work at jobs he didn't like, the reason that he had to leave his kids, I was even the reason he had diabetes! They can't possibly be responsible for abandoning their family, ruining themselves financially, risking their health and welfare...it HAS to be someone else's fault...OH YEA, the one that is right there...YOU, it must be your fault.
IB...I understand the blows it makes to your self esteem...I thought how aweful could I be that I would drive a man that dearly loved his children away from them too? How aweful that he can never imagine living in the same town with me? How aweful that he can't even look at me? How aweful that he would give up ALL his friends and his life of the past 25+ years just to get away from ME?...yep, went through all the questions...and you know what, the only thing I could do was work on what I agreed with...the rest was just fluff to allow him to do what he was doing... It isn't you...and you are doing great...keep your focus, the kids are noticing...I think it was my kids that had more impact on H initially coming back...then he saw the changes I had made and realized he could work things out WITH me..
