Last weekend was ok. WAW did let kids and I shower at her apartment since our water heater was broken. We had dinner for D 19th birthday at the restaraunt WAW manages and then we all went to the horse track the next day. I bought D her first legal beer.
I texted and called WAW on Friday morning just to check in. Conversation was very brief and she was less than warm. She is not coming over today as she used to on Sundays to make family dinner. D said it's partly due to the fact that I told her I needed some time apart after the vacation went so poorly.
I called WAW this morning and said "I know you have plans for today, but I am ok with you coming over on Sundays from here on, since I don't want you to never see S (daughter works for WAW), don't want the kids to not have their one really good home cooked meal, and you and I should see each other sometimes leading up to Xmas". Yes.....we still plan on doing the "family" vacation as we did last year and every other year.
I am doing better at moving on and letting go, but am trying to keep the lines of communication open as well. I still suck at GAL, but am slowly getting there. Daily life isn't bad at all and I have decided 100% to stay with current agreement of me staying in house with kids, WAW paying for groceries etc and then selling house and proceeding with divorce in 2 years when S is done high school, mortgage is due for renewal. We still do not have lawyers involved or a separation agreement of any kind. It works for me and I'm probably getting a better deal now than if we did have lawyers involved. And....admittedly....as long as papers are not signed, there is tiny glimmer of hope.
I am not living just for that hope now, but I remain open to some day living life happily with my WAW. But...right now I am learning to and focusing on being happy with my life as it is.
