Long Distance Issues.....Possible WAW

[Dazed&Confused]

Thanks TH. I need a dose of reality sometimes. You are right, my marriage as it stands right now is not something that I would consider as being for the best. I have to keep on reminding myself of that fact.

And yes, it is hard to know what the future holds, a very true statement. I can predict odds though. The odds of my wife and I getting back together, slim. The odds of our standards of living remaining the same, slimmer. The odds of me making a quick recovery over this, even slimmer. I try not to look to the future, but that is all I have right now. I do not have my kids to play with everyday, or even a dettached wife to be angry with me. All I have is what lies ahead, and it doesn't look good. I am not saying that it won't be good, that is a possibility, not just a good one.

As far as the wifes feelings. I am slowly learning that lesson. I know that they are hers. It's just that I am used to being the one who would make her happy (feelings) or sad (feelings) or angry (feelings). So my logic tries to dictate that if I was responsible for any or all of those, then I should be able to do it again. Does that make sense? I guess I am not used to feeling helpless, and that is exactly what I am right now.

With that being said, I have read on here to do what works. Stop doing stuff that doesn't work. How do you know when to change, and how to change. I have remained strong on the outside with the exception of when the bomb was dropped on me. We had one R talk after and that is it. To this date, it seems like she has done nothing but continue her plan towards divorce, and seems quite happy with it. I have matched her attitude, and have been nothing but gracious when we talk or email. (with a couple of exceptions in one email)

When do I decide that this isn't working? When and what do I try to do differently? If I keep this up, the papers will be filed and we will be divored 31 days after. Its hard to make any sense out of it is all.

I guess it all comes down to you can't stop them if this is what they truely want. No matter how much you are against it.