Long Distance Issues.....Possible WAW

[Dazed&Confused]

Pinhead,

I know what you mean. It seems like the more I reamain upbeat, don't pursue, "as if", the faster she is moving away. I am trying to trust the system, but it is hard. I know that I don't want beg and plead, that it looks weak, and to be honest I don't feel like doing it. But how do you talk logic into someone who doesn't want to listen?

I am trying to remain strong with her. I am being nice, acting like nothing is bothering me. She even emailed me yesterday about getting a new carseat for our daughter. That transfromed into emails to me about not worrying, she had a stroller for me to use once she was gone, and that she would keep her eyes open for a carseat for me. I just responded with a "That would be great" but it killed me. How in the world is someone supposed to respond to that?

I am still not sleepy worth a crap. I had a dream last night that we were together and she finally woke up. She wanted me back. I swear to God that I sat straight up in bed with my heart beating out of my chest. I was like being woke up by a nightmare but the opposite. It took me hours to fall back asleep. The worst part about it is that I felt ashamed afterwards. Like I shouldn't have let that happen. So I know that my mind is severely confused. Deep down, I am still in a lot of pain, but on the outside, I am trying to convince myself that everything will be alright.

It's a tough battle, but hopefully we will be stronger from it. At least that is my hope anyways.

Puppy,

Thanks for the PBO speech. That was exactly what I was looking for. It sums up everything that I am feeling right now. Even throws in a reminder of my feelings. I really do appreciate the help with this!

D&C