It appears your H found your DB blog, thus your caution.I understand that.I am careful to shut my PC down after using, ( I put a password on it, H cannot get into my email, etc), I lock all my books, journal, notes, etc in my file cabinet.
Bingo. And I've been unable to post for myself here since April. It was really hard, but the alt helps. Be aware though, that's not how he found me- he paid attention to when I was doing all my furious typing every night and googled things like "divorce prevention" and stumbled on the site. Since threads get bumped up in the queue right after someone posts, he figured out which could be mine, then, as I'd copied many emails from him verbatim, he recognized his own words. So, it's not always enough to protect your computer and p/w.
Quote:
It might be true , the LBS 's leaving may indeed trigger a wake up call in WAH. With that said, you are right, it's all scary and moving out when it is not what we want, just doesn't feel right. I think it's a healthy step, but only we can know if it is time.
I don't ever think I'll feel it's the right time or I'm ready. I just have to get as close as I can and then... leap.
Quote:
Yes, there are many things in your M and mine that are the same... Seems amazing to me any of us can have sx less marriages. After all, when we are first dating, things are crazy good in that area. As my H said, we LET everything die. I will check out Alice's post for sure.I like what she did! I will try a few things.
The only reason to move up my surgery date is to shorten the time spent in Limbo Land. Being in this house like this is hard. It feels like a prison. I can "do the hard work" and stay until my move out date, but I am questioning whether it's good for my health.
It is taxing my mental health and spiritual strength for sure. so, this is legitimate- pay attention to it and how it's affecting you. A lot of people DB from separate residences and claim it can still have an effect- and remember it's for you
Quote:
Thanks for the L info.I was already planning on doing that. Unless I dig through H's files, I will have to ask him for copies of all tax papers, etc. I won't tell him why I need them, but am sure he will know. Yes, this is a business deal. No, I am a careful person, so I wouldn't wish to use only one L.
Dig through the files and make copies of everything before he moves them. Seriously. Women, listen up- you all need to know what's going on with your finances and $ records- if you haven't been, get your own copies NOW, before they're no longer accessible!
Quote:
H has said he feels we won't wish to "screw " each other financially. I don't want to be naive and fully trust H.
Yes, please don't. Mine made noises for weeks about how he wanted us to be "collaborative" and "cooperative" while being the worst passive-aggressive I've ever seen, writing subtly threatening emails (that were certainly not cooperative), etc. Remember an alien has possessed him and you can't trust anything or assume anything based on what he used to be like. I've seen too many times here someone acts based on the person they thought their spouse to be, only to get totally screwed. And I think it's funny b/c it sounds like it's his house and he's supporting YOU. So how, exactly would it be a "we" thing to mutually screw each other? Honey, he is projecting on you and is afraid you'll try for half of everything and doesn't want that to interfere with his new, better life without you. It sounds really nice, but watch out (sounds like you are already being cautious- but seriously, get those copies when he's not around).
