A friend described my W as living/wanting a movie life, and this explained her disappointment with me and our M. Same friend pointed out that my W will be in for a rude awakening. Reality bites, and this is her choice.
I don't know that I'm detaching so much as just exhausted from limbo, lack of sleep, and lack of any type of affection other than what my daughters give me. And I won't even mention the lack of sex...
But really, it doesn't matter why or what they're thinking, since we can't change our WAS. We can often remind them of the consequences, like when I tried to use guilt over our daughters to persuade my wife to pursue MC with me. But their in thrall to the Great Escape. Every hurt, every disappointment, every pain will be alleviated in the Great Escape. But sadly, it won't. If I knew my wife had gone through even half of the self-evaluation and inner-probing I've done over the last 47 days, I would disagree with that comment. But she hasn't. She's living in the fog, breathing in vapors. That's why I think her come to Jesus moment when living alone will be so much harder than what I've gone through. And I think that the anger stemming from that is one reason why separation often leads to divorce. Maybe I'm being pessimistic.
My wife called and said two of the places I pointed out didn't look good, didn't see many kids around, seemed "sleepy." I know that she'll try to use guilt over my two daughters to get me to contribute $$, but I'm not going to. If I have to, I'll buy the girls all their clothes, I'll be feeding them over 80% of their meals, etc. But I'm not going to get guilted into moving out, or helping her live in a 'nice' place so she doesn't have to bear the burden for her decisions.
I'm not going to let this linger. I don't regret asking her to reconsider staying when we talked last Sunday, but it just has gone on too long. Looking back at my thread is humbling, how I'll lock onto a good idea, and then lose the strength to follow through. I need to find a way to stay consistent and firm.
